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Tired of Dating Drama?

Switch to Dating COMEDY.

Switch to Dating ME.

Hi, I'm Rich

"My warped sense of humor and lust for laughter
will make you feel alive in ways you never imagined possible."

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About Me

Dazzling conversationalist. Even more dazzling listener. Highly educated. Hard-driven. Enjoys people with emotional baggage, mood swings, and self-destructive tendencies. Animal lover. Kid-compatible. Athletic. Outgoing. Fun. Exciting. Slightly demented. Hard to figure out. For you, exactly the right kind of dangerous.

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AGE

Give it your best guess

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EYES

Bright, clear...and devilish

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EDUCATION

Juris Doctor (w/ highest honors)

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WEIGHT

No guessing required: 135

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HEALTH

Excellent

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VICES

Tons, but none society frowns upon

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HEIGHT

6’ 7” (if you spot me 12 inches)

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INCOME

3 sources (you do the math)

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DEFINING TRAIT

Naughty playfulness

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BODY TYPE

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Surfer lean/muscular

INTERESTS

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Hard work & insane thrills

I AM MOST LIKE

The Cat in the Hat

What I Do for Kicks

I’m a top-performer who loves his work and the happiness it brings people.

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Writing

News, celeb profiles, books,

blogs, scripts, ads, investor

pitch decks. I wordsmith all

kinds of cool stuff online

and in print.

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eCommerce

I own a virtual shop that lets

me play the role of Cyrano

to ineloquent, lovelorn guys

desperate to win

their Roxane.

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Justice

Seeing the system screw

people is something I can’t

abide. So I do what I can to

help protect their

legal rights.

But enough about me. Tell me about YOU.

Testimonials

You want the unvarnished truth about me? 
Well, these ladies are here to share it with you. Trust what they tell you.

”When I was with Rich, I was ovulating daily—so deeply did he pleasure me. I’d never experienced a more virile and skillful lover than he. I felt as if my soul were aflame at the very touch of his exquisitely powerful hands upon my trembling silken skin. The time we spent together was simply magical, very much like what you’d read in a dystopian romance novel.”
—Anonymous

”Avoid Rich at all costs. Many a fine woman has been ruined by him, scandalized for life. He is a terrible beast who uses his charming personality to lure you into romantic entanglements you’ll never want to end. He may talk and act like a cocky cad,

but don’t let that fool you. He really IS a cocky cad.

And an asshole to boot.”
—Rich’s Mom

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My Life as Seen Through the Eyes of Others

Uproarious Misadventures

I have fun. That's because I am fun. Join me for the wildest ride of your life.
Check out this very small sampling of crazy sh*t from my chequered past.
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Chippendales Poseur

Sex-crazed ladies standing in line outside the infamous L.A. club mistook me on multiple occasions

for one of the male strippers as I strolled by in my tanktop.  Still, I appreciated the cash they stuffed into my waistband—even the Chuck E. Cheese arcade tokens one besotted wine-mom offered instead.

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Class Clown on Steroids

In high school, the day started with

a bunch of boring announcements read over the P.A. So I convinced

the principal to let me transform

that dull ritual into a madcap comedy “radio” show. Students loved the outlandishness of it. But teachers hated how it undermined campus discipline. LOL!

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Knight in Rubber Armor

I'm forever aiding the defenseless. Once, I severely messed up a rapist (and earned much love from the neighborhood women). Then there was the time I forced a thief to return a stereo he’d stolen from a stranger’s car. And when a widow’s home was being vandalized, my inner Kick-Ass sprang right into action.

Go ahead. Wink at me. 

Intrigued by what I’ve shared about myself? Already fantasizing about us making beautiful music together?
Then fill out this form and let’s start testing our chemistry to see if we can make sparks fly.